A friend of mine once wrote - " I would like to hold myself accountable to keep changing. To keep looking at the stars and being amazed. To love God and His people. To remember that whatever I may be going through that the Creator of the seasons and the Author of these thoughts knows exactly what He is doing."
I love this. My favorite part is "hold myself accountable...to keep looking at the stars and being amazed." When was the last time you did that? I will tell you, I believe in wonder. People are so easy to loose it. To stop looking at the stars and feel wonder. To stop feeling the breeze, to stop looking at the world around them and wonder and it's beauty. Even in the middle of Greensboro, my city full of ghetto, gangs, trafficking, and the 2nd worst allergies in the nation, there is things to find wonder-full. God is my biggest one.
I wonder at God. God who gives so much. God who loves me, when I continually screw up. I just spent the ten minute car ride home in a mixture of sobbing and laughing because I was so overwhelmed with the generosity of the family I work for and the Grace of God that my job is doing something that I absolutely adore. Why in the heck do I get to do that? Why am I so blessed?
Tonight, after the kids went to bed, I was channel surfing. I landed on AMC where Independence Day was playing. I watched Bill Pullman's President character give his speech to the pilots about to go up to fight the massive space ship in that speech he spoke about fighting for their right to live.
Since when did we have a right to anything? What in the world have I done to deserve the life I have been given? I'll tell you - nothing. I am good with kids - its a fact. That is not me. That is a gift God gave me and I delight in it. I get paid very generously - and it blows my socks off every time they hand me the check. The grace of God boggles my mind.
We have become a people who look for what we deserve. As many times as I may think I would do my job without the pay check I think a couple weeks in I would be looking for compensation of some sort. Even as I do my job, I expect the families to be okay with me eating their food, because I am watching their kids instead of cooking for me and I deserve to eat. It is my "right" as a human being to eat.
This writing is either ill-timed or perfectly-timed at Christmastime. Around this time of year, people are more likely to take account of what they have. At the same time, they just as likely to be looking for they deserve (being with family, presents under the tree, time off work, bonus checks). I watched Charlie Brown Christmas last night and actually paid attention to the words they spoke for the first time. Charlie's little sister at one point says plainly of her list to Santa, "I'm just looking for what I deserve, I'm looking for what's coming to me." You know what was coming to you child? Death. Chew on that.
The wise, blanket toting member of Chuck's gang brought the whole episode together by quoting the story of Jesus. However, people ( yeah including me) get hung up on the manger, the wise men and the whole prophecies thing. We don't get hung up on the simple fact that He came. My verse for the Christmas season is not from Matthew, Luke of Isaiah, it is from 1 John 4:9
"By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him."
I have had "love manifested life" written in sharpie on the inside of my arm for the past two days and plan to keep it there for the rest of the season, because I want it to remind me that because of Christmas I have life. I don't have it because I wasn't aborted. I don't have it because my parents had mutual friends in college. I don't have it because my grandmother walked into the SUP store at U of Alabama in time to hear my grandfather give a speech. I don't have it because my ancestor escaped Prussia before freaking Fredrick the Great could kill him. I don't have it because it is my right. I have it because 2000 some years ago the love of God was manifested in us by coming into the world so that we can have life. Every year I am reminded of this, and every year despite my failure to hold on to it, it rings true. That is a testimony in and of itself.
This is Christmastime, I am overwhelmed by Grace given me through my employers who as far as I can tell have not even bothered to explain to their six year old that some people believe in a thing called God. Every day is given and here as a result of what we celebrate on Christmas. Love. Manifested. Life.
Therefore I challenge myself to keep walking forward, to keep searching and getting to know the God that knows my everything and still showers me with amazing grace. I want to wake up in the morning and thank Him. I want to lie down at night and bless Him. I want to merge onto 1-40 west and sing His praise from every ounce of my being, because I can. Not because it is my right, but because it is His gift.
Thank you Jesus. You rock my world.
Click this link to my latest theme song - for the purposes of this post, I want to highlight the bridge.
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