So tonight I went to UNCG's Campus Crusade for Christ (Cru) meeting at the insistent invitation of my friend Callie as well as my own curiosity. It was good to know someone. It was were I needed to be tonight. Not because the message spoke to me, although I'm sure it was very good, I didn't really hear it. I didn't hear it because free from the distractions of home (computer phone etc) and there focusing on God he laid one of my friends on my heart so very hard, all I could do was pray. I didn't even know what for. Its cool when God does this.
The worship was good, I did hear that. The last two songs in particular spoke to me. One called God, "Our Warrior". I think we get so caught up in the grace of God that we forget that He's a fighter. Not only is He a jealous God, He fights for us. He wants us, He wants us to be free from the snare that so easily entangles. I think I tend to forget that He is bigger than the world. I get so down watching how lost the world is I forget that God has the power and ability to cut through the world. I see the power of the Devil grow stronger, and I forget that no matter how strong He gets, God is stronger. God is the Victory. We're not biting our nails to see how this ends up, we know. God wins. We win. The devil looses and so do all "his" people.
"We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God." -2 Corinthians 5:20
This verse should be my motto. The message of it has grown heavier on my heart as I've been in Greensboro. I need to remember, to believe, to hope and trust in the fact that God is fighting for His lost children, my friends all around me. I need to trust in that when I start to loose faith. Every time I see them, I want to see the battlefield of their souls. Both sides of it, not just the one that's the most obnoxious. Satan is obnoxious to me. He just flaunts his power. God doesn't need that.
This brings me to the second song. "Fill us up, send us out."
That is my growing desire. Not only the friends in my classes, but this women who walks the street of my campus. I watched as a cop pulled over today to talk to her. She has a pathetic voice and walks around asking for pennies. I want to give her more. I want to help her, but I have no idea how. The way she talks and acts I'm 90% sure she's using the pennies for something harmful. I wanted to point her somewhere, probably my church, but I need more information about that ministry I don't want to tell her wrong.
Among all these things, the most important part to me is "Fill us up". I don't want to go out and act for God for the sake of acting for God. Then I become obnoxious like Satan. I want to be filled and act when, where and how God directs. Only then am I His ambassador. Even that word begs the difference. An ambassador (if done properly) is someone who goes into places that are not their home, lives there but keeps the culture and ways of their home. Their goal is be a voice for their home. A voice for peace. A promoter for the place they come from, not a degrader of where they are. As opposed to say a candidate. Who "speaks" for other causes, but who's real purpose is self-elevation.
We, if we follow Christ are ambassadors for Him, not candidates. We are promoting Him, and not degrading the world around us, because the world around is run by and populated by His children, the last thing God wants is to degrade them. The scary part is when we leave God, even is we speak in His name, we become candidates. And those are people the world we are in will remember, because Satan never lets them forget.
My prayer is to be "filled up, and sent out." and that I won't just go. I praise God for His work. The minuteness of it never ceases to amaze me.
